joyce's posts with tag: johann
 Johann's 2nd and 3rd day without me in the house was a bliss. Good thing my brother jay was there with him. Now let me tell you about today-his 4th day. The usual perky attitude wasn't there when he woke up this morning, and despite his dad's prodding (for them to watch nickelodeon),he stayed on his bed. When i looked at him i saw sadness in his eyes as he watched me get ready for work, i told him not to fret for i will be home early, well that cheered him for a while. But when it was time to leave, his dam-full of emotions came flooding over us, he clung to his dad like there was no tomorrow, and me, well he won't give me a kiss (because he knew i wouldn't leave home not getting one), he won't even look me in the eye. In the end, i have to satisfy myself kissing the back of his head , get into the car and ignore his calls behind me. 2 hours later, while i was in the middle of something, i have this inkling of calling home, so i did. Guess what, johann was wailing in the background as the nanny answered the phone. When i asked the nanny why, she told me that my son was asking for me while watching his Dora the explorer dvd, and since they couldn't do anything about it he cried. I tried talking to him over the phone, but it was useless this time, so i just asked them to buy him an ice cream to calm him down.
I once read that kids usually cry when their parents go to work because it's their way of controlling us (either we bring them with us or not togo out at all ), and, not to feel bad when they cry as we head to the door, because the moment it is closed they would completely forget about it. Maybe some of us can identify with this but not me. No offense to the author but i don't completely agree with this line of thought. Because you see, my son cried not because he wanted to control me, but because he already reached his "missing-mommy" threshold. He had his meltdown this morning because he want things to go back the way they were last week. For babies and toddlers, crying is not just a call to change their diapers, or for milk, when they want to sleep, tired and irritated. It's their only way to tell us that they love us and can't simply live a day without us, parents. It's a love call. I'm not writing this because i have a "guilty-mom syndrome". No . I was a full time, stay at home mom for 3 1/2 years, it's only now that i have to work 5 hrs, a day. It just pains me to see him go through this stage, yet, he has to go through this.
All this time i thought i knew a lot about parenting my child, i was wrong, because in this career called motherhood, there's still a lot to learn. Do you know how i felt this morning....go figure. 
| |
