joyce's posts with tag: parenting
 Johann's 2nd and 3rd day without me in the house was a bliss. Good thing my brother jay was there with him. Now let me tell you about today-his 4th day. The usual perky attitude wasn't there when he woke up this morning, and despite his dad's prodding (for them to watch nickelodeon),he stayed on his bed. When i looked at him i saw sadness in his eyes as he watched me get ready for work, i told him not to fret for i will be home early, well that cheered him for a while. But when it was time to leave, his dam-full of emotions came flooding over us, he clung to his dad like there was no tomorrow, and me, well he won't give me a kiss (because he knew i wouldn't leave home not getting one), he won't even look me in the eye. In the end, i have to satisfy myself kissing the back of his head , get into the car and ignore his calls behind me. 2 hours later, while i was in the middle of something, i have this inkling of calling home, so i did. Guess what, johann was wailing in the background as the nanny answered the phone. When i asked the nanny why, she told me that my son was asking for me while watching his Dora the explorer dvd, and since they couldn't do anything about it he cried. I tried talking to him over the phone, but it was useless this time, so i just asked them to buy him an ice cream to calm him down.
I once read that kids usually cry when their parents go to work because it's their way of controlling us (either we bring them with us or not togo out at all ), and, not to feel bad when they cry as we head to the door, because the moment it is closed they would completely forget about it. Maybe some of us can identify with this but not me. No offense to the author but i don't completely agree with this line of thought. Because you see, my son cried not because he wanted to control me, but because he already reached his "missing-mommy" threshold. He had his meltdown this morning because he want things to go back the way they were last week. For babies and toddlers, crying is not just a call to change their diapers, or for milk, when they want to sleep, tired and irritated. It's their only way to tell us that they love us and can't simply live a day without us, parents. It's a love call. I'm not writing this because i have a "guilty-mom syndrome". No . I was a full time, stay at home mom for 3 1/2 years, it's only now that i have to work 5 hrs, a day. It just pains me to see him go through this stage, yet, he has to go through this.
All this time i thought i knew a lot about parenting my child, i was wrong, because in this career called motherhood, there's still a lot to learn. Do you know how i felt this morning....go figure. 
 First day of the month,it's my first day of work (yeah after 4 yrs.) and my first time to leave my son Johann with the nannies, just the nannies. Mixed emotions were flooding since last night. I'm excited to get back to work, and the best part is ,i will be doing it alongside my husband arnold, which means longer time with him hehe. I will be helping him to manage the family business, and he's going to be my boss. The thing is, i will be leaving my favorite guy at home as i go to work everyday. He is three.I know this is just a normal thing to do and i shouldn't be bothered. But who says i'm normal? I'm used to wake up each day with his kisses and his face right above mine. I'm used to wake up each day with his singing while jumping up and down my bed. Well, i still woke up with the same things this morning, only, i don't have time to enjoy it today.
If i'm not in the gym (which is usually 2 days a week), my days are usually spent with him, who makes a beeline behind me, everywhere. Honestly, i can't even go to the loo without him begging me to "open the door". Literally, he's my shadow, and there were times in the past that i would be frustrated about it. Those were the times when he would tell his dad in the evening that "mommy got mad", and when his dad would ask him why, he couldn't utter a thing. Maybe, just maybe, he couldn't say anything because he really doesn't know why i was upset. It really is not a good idea to get mad at kids because no matter how much you yell, they still wouldn't understand why. For my Johann, he doesn't understand why mommy has to have a space sometimes, all he wants is to be with mommy spongebob all the time. Yes, "Mommy spongebob", that's how he calls me when he wants to tease me, his dad,well he calls him daddy patrick :). Funny, i'm kinda missing these things today. Good thing i have his look-a-like right in front of me.
The good thing about being chummy with your boss is that you can charm him if you want a favor. I was able to talk my husband to give me a 9-2 full time job, my boss is an awesome one. I'm gonna go home soon, i'll give my son his bath, we'll watch hi fave cds together ( thomas,elmo, spongebob,dora *&^%%$#^@ ), and he can follow me around the house for as long as he wants. See you soon son.
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